Laughter is the Best Medicine Unless You Have Diarrhea

The last few weeks have been like a ride on a Tilt-A-Whirl. It’s been a series of fast paced, unpredictable, and disorienting experiences. After my hospital stay a few weeks ago for an anaphylactic reaction, my breathing worsened at home after discharge. It got to the point where I was admitted back into the hospital 10 days later. After several days of IV medications and breathing treatments every 2 hours, I was discharged home again. Woot woot! Unfortunately I couldn’t get jiggy with it because the discharge meds weren’t strong enough to keep my breathing under control. So my doctor tripled my prednisone dose with the hope of keeping me out of the hospital. It’s not my favorite plan, but I am grateful that so far this plan seems to be working. But damn, I could do without the insomnia, munchies, and higher blood sugars. Now it’s to the point where I require insulin daily. Mais c’est la vie!

Swollen from all the IV steroids 😑

While in the hospital there isn’t much to do other than stare at the emptiness of those four white walls or watch television. No visitors are allowed to see me due to my compromised immune system from the high doses of prednisone. The medical team knows I am terrible when it comes to bedrest so they turned on my hospital bed alarm and connected me to the heart monitor on the wall. I couldn’t even get up to pee without calling someone. I hate feeling robbed of my independence and being forced to stay on bedrest goes against every fiber of my being. Although the downtime allows my mind to run like a free spirit from one odd topic to the next. And the results always amuse me because I am weird, nerdy, and slightly naughty. 😁 At least I can still laugh at myself! Because laughter is the best medicine…unless you have diarrhea. 💩🤪 So here’s a smattering of what ran through my mind and I hope it tickles your funny bone. 😀

“The finger” Why is it the middle finger? What makes this particular finger so insulting? I think it’s a perfectly good finger. It’s a fine finger. It’s well protected by fingers on each side. It’s easy to show other people. If your middle finger is anything like mine, it’s the tallest captain of them all! When and why did it obtain such a bad reputation?

“Ride a motorcycle” Why do you hear that people drive cars and trucks but ride motorcycles even if they are operating the motorcycle? Does anyone drive a motorcycle or do they all ride? I have heard the motto “Live to ride, Ride to Live” within the motorcycle community, but I have not really heard people say they drive a motorcycle. If you are operating something with an engine aren’t you driving it? A driver’s license (although a different class from operating a car) is required to operate a motorcycle. The semantics of this topic puzzle me.

“Geography endings” When we say people or material goods are from a certain country or continent, why are some locations ending in “an” and others are not? For example:

• American= from America (USA)
• Italian= from Italy
• Costa Rican= from Costa Rica
• Brazilian= from Brazil
• Canadian= from Canada
• Australian= from Australia
• Nigerian= from Nigeria
• Indian= from India
• Norwegian= from Norway
• Russian= from Russia
• Korean= from Korea
• Ethiopian= from Ethiopia

This “an” ending doesn’t seem to be isolated to any particular continent of the world. North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Australia, and Asia all have several countries with this same ending. But Europe, Africa, and Asia seem to be continents with several countries of various endings NOT including “an.” For example:

• Swiss= from Switzerland
• Finnish= from Finland
• French= from France
• Dutch= from The Netherlands
• Congolese= from The Congo
• Filipino= from The Philippines
• Pakistani= from Pakistan
• German= from Germany
• Chinese= from China
• Swedish= from Sweden
• Sudanese= from Sudan
• Turkish= from Turkey

How was it determined which countries get which endings? Is it just an English language thing? Or is this seen in other languages too? I gotta let that one marinate.

“Big ass numbers” Kajillion: how much is it? Is it different than a bazillion? Is it larger or smaller? What about a bajillion? I assume they all exceed a trillion-if they are real numbers. Is there an actual numeric value tied to these words? Or are kajillion, bajillion, and bazillion just made up words for big ass numbers?

“Dinner party” What exactly is a dinner party? Isn’t it just a bunch of people eating a shit ton of food? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. What exactly is the party part of a dinner party? Do people play games at a dinner party? Are there party favors handed out at the end of the night like at a birthday party? Why not just say “Come over for dinner” instead of qualifying it as a dinner party? Don’t we all just want to sit around stuffing our faces like gluttonous pieces of shit instead of being forced to mingle? Who has the energy to party down when you have a food baby or are in a food induced coma?

“Car floor mats” Why on earth are there carpet floor mats in vehicles? They’re impossible to keep clean or looking good! Shoes track so much disgusting crap from the outside to the inside of the car. It’s impossible to thoroughly vacuum those cheap ass mats too. Kids and pets constantly drop and spill stuff on the floors. The fast food employee didn’t secure the lid on your beverage so on your first sip it spills all over yourself and the floor. 🙄 Great! Now you’ve ruined your outfit and your carpet floor mats. And it’s not even good quality carpet. Why don’t mats that you can wipe or hose down easily just come as a standard purchase with vehicles?

“Words that tickle my pickle”

• Tenderloin
• Poot
• Kumquat
• Weenie
• Deep doodoo
• Hoochie

What words or phrases make you chuckle? Please feel free to share whatever floats your goat in the comments section! We can all benefit from a toothy grin every now and then! 😁