Delicate and brutal. Two words that are polar opposites. Yet I feel they suit me to a T.
Delicate. This is NOT to be confused with frail. I am certainly NOT frail. I challenge you to find someone who knows me and would describe me as frail. I doubt you could. I relate to the word delicate as “intricate workmanship.” I am complicated, detail oriented, and methodical. There is always a method to my madness! Most people who know me are probably shaking their head and thinking “Yes, that sounds like Amy.”
Brutal. Most people think of brutal as savage, cruel, or ruthless. But for the purpose of describing myself and this blog, brutal=ferocious. I fiercely stand up for what and who I believe in, I don’t take shit off people, and I don’t live my life worrying about what other people think of me. So there you have it. Me in a nutshell. Delicate and brutal.
I have often been asked “Why don’t you care about what other people think of you?” The short answer is “I accept myself.” I am comfortable with who I am. That includes all the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of me.
The good: I embrace my weird tendencies. I laugh at my own farts-even if I am by myself. Because farts are funny. Sometimes I laugh so hard I snort. I like wearing tshirts with sayings on them like “Smell the dairy air.”
The bad and the ugly: I will cuss you out if you cross a line with me. And I usually don’t feel bad for it either. I even accept my hair falling out and my round, swollen face from my nemesis Prednisone. Fucking prednisone. I don’t like it. But I accept it, because it’s me.
I don’t live in fear of what others think of me. I don’t believe in talking, acting, or looking a certain way just for people to accept me. And I won’t apologize for not fitting into someone else’s idea of who I should be or how I should act.
I believe in being real. Being real allows you to fearlessly be yourself. So…Fearlessly fart in public. Fearlessly laugh until soda comes out of your nose. Fearlessly wear that outfit that you love but no one else understands or likes. Fearlessly sing that song you love even though you think you can’t sing.
You have to spend a lot more time in life with yourself than with anyone else. So why not accept yourself exactly the way you are and do it fearlessly?